10 sex things men and women wish their partners would do

More variety and foreplay, please (Picture: Getty/

If your partner would do one thing differently when it comes to sex, what would one thing would you wish for?

More variety? Taking charge? Better underwear?

The easiest solution to this longing would be to tell our partners what we’re craving.

But we love to make things complicated, so rather than just coming out and saying that we’d like it if our other half spent a little more time downtown, or stopped doing that thing with their tongue, we quietly hope they’ll read our minds.

Perhaps this list of the top 10 sex-related things men and women want their partners to do will help.

(Feel free to just leave this article open in a tab for your partner to oh-so-casually see.)

The experts at IllicitEncounters surveyed 2,000 people to see what they’ve been wishing for in the bedroom, and found that the key things that would improve our love-making are, well, pretty obvious: trying new things, good technique, and lots of foreplay.

But they also got a touch more specific, ranking men and women’s top 10s of sex-related things they wish their partner would do more.

The top request among women, of their male partners? Be less selfish in bed.

Men, meanwhile, would like it if women took the lead a little more.

Top 10 sex things men and women want you to do more:

Ten sex things women want men to do more:

  1. Be unselfish in bed
  2. Get to know my body better
  3. Wait for me to orgasm first
  4. Sensitive touch and no clumsy hands
  5. Don’t get too drunk before sex
  6. More foreplay including oral sex
  7. No holes in his pants
  8. Don’t fall asleep straight after sex
  9. Talk to me more about my desires
  10. Make sex more sensual with good lighting and candles

Ten sex things men want women to do more:

  1. Take the lead in the bedroom
  2. Mix it up and try new positions
  3. Make more noise
  4. Talk dirty and explain what turns you on during love making
  5. More oral sex
  6. Let’s film the action
  7. New lingerie
  8. Let me sleep afterwards
  9. Watch more erotica together
  10. Make love outside the bedroom

The good news: none of these tips and tricks are particularly challenging, and few are mutually exclusive (apart from sleeping after sex. Perhaps compromise with 10 minutes of cuddling before drifting off?).

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationship expert at, said: ‘There are all kinds of tricks that we all wish our lovers would do to make sex better.

‘The key to a healthy sex life is being completely up front with your partner and sharing the best tricks that work.

‘What the results show is that men most crave a break in routine and getting out of a sex rut.

‘Women are bored by selfish lovers who don’t care if they orgasm, are clumsy with their hands and wear dirty old pants with holes in them!’

Sometimes the obvious advice is correct: if you want to improve your sex life, it’s worth talking more. That means sharing what you want more of, and asking your partner to do the same.

But also, chuck out any holey pants. Easy.

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